ANGER MANAGEMENT

Anger is often about trying to gain control. It's a way of pushing our desires onto the world and others because we feel helpless about how something turned out. Just as we can't directly chase happiness, we can't directly let go of anger.

I've struggled with reacting too angrily to unexpected situations. When this happens with people you care about, it can keep you up at night, wondering why. The reason is that we're acting from an old emotional wound—something unprocessed, possibly from trauma or loss. When something triggers that wound, it reignites those old feelings.

For me, things started to improve when I looked inside myself, acknowledged those wounds, and processed my emotions. This helped me let go of anger in many areas, sometimes even in places that didn't seem connected to the original hurt.

Journaling can help a lot with this. Think about times when you felt scared, powerless, or hurt—anything that made you feel vulnerable or incomplete. Write down the memories that come up and the messages you received as a child. Then, try to look at these situations objectively. Separate what actually happened from how you interpreted it. Imagine what you would say to your younger self now, or how you would handle those situations differently. This process might be painful, but it's essential for letting go of the sting and finding freedom.

You'll never stop feeling angry entirely, and that's okay. Anger itself isn't the problem. There's healthy and unhealthy anger. Healthy anger helps you stand up for your beliefs, defend what's right, and protect those who can't protect themselves (deep down, we usually know when our anger is justified). The goal is to work on our unhealthy anger so that when things don't go our way or people do things we don't agree with, we can respond with love, security, and positive intent.